Moving with Children
Avoid the Tears, Make Moving Less Stressful
Moving is stressful for the adults involved; worrying about all of the details, the packing, and then getting everything to the new home and unpacked in a reasonable amount of time. But it is even more stressful for children, especially if they are young or if this is their first move. They will be leaving behind the home they feel secure in, moving to a new place that they don’t know. If you are moving to a new town or neighborhood, they will also be leaving behind their friends and familiar landmarks.
There are several ways that you can make the move less traumatic for your children. Start by giving them plenty of notice. As soon as you begin planning a move, let them know. Explain to them that you will be moving to a new home, and give some positive reasons (such as a bigger yard or more space inside) instead of focusing on the negatives of your current home. Once you have found a home, or a couple homes, you like, that your children to view it and let them give their opinions. If they aren’t excited about the move, or if they are upset about it, you probably won’t get many positive comments, but you will at least get to hear their concerns.
Once you have chosen the new home, keep kids involved by allowing them to pick out paint colors for their new rooms and encouraging them to help pack. Even young children can help by putting their toys in boxes. Make sure you label which box belongs to each child as you go, and allow children to keep their favorite toys unpacked until the day off the move. Also, carrying a favorite toy or two on the car ride to the new home.
One the days leading up to, and after the move, try to stick to as normal as a schedule as possible. This will help to keep the child feeling secure. Install extra night lights for the first few weeks in the new home, and expect extra night time wake ups. A new home, with strange new noises and shadows, can be really scary, especially for younger children.
Be free to listen to your children’s concerns and fears about the new home or new neighborhood. Facilitate opportunities for your kids to meet neighborhood children, at a park or even in your new backyard. Tour the new school together, and meet some of the new teachers, if possible.
Moving doesn’t have to be a scary or stressful event for children. By taking the extra time to help your child with the move, you will both be much more relaxed on moving day and the days beyond.